tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8086222144066438296.post6293123440777559134..comments2023-10-05T12:52:16.356-04:00Comments on Tina Opie: My Ethnic Hair Journey: Beach bonding and interracial friendship Part 2topiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12981039926077521964noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8086222144066438296.post-86033788255737726372011-07-12T09:53:07.000-04:002011-07-12T09:53:07.000-04:00I can totally understand the protective instinct! ...I can totally understand the protective instinct! But I also feel for the other little girl being totally baffled by a new experience. You can pretty much picture what her community looks like, can't you? Sad.<br><br>I remember when I first learned about race as a little girl--I remember asking that same question almost of my older brother's best friend, William: Why do they call you black? You don't look black? I was lucky that their reaction was laughter and an explanation that made it clear that it was a label and not a descriptor, etc. <br><br>I can imagine that your daughter's friend has been socialized much like your daughter has (unfortunately)--that long, sleek hair is "ideal". When a mother at the church I went to as a child cut her daughter's hair really short to match her own, all the little girls were shocked because they didn't want anyone to TOUCH their hair length. Had to be like Barbie's hair. Long and straight. Unless you put curls into it. All about control. No matter that it was absolutely adorable to see the short hair cuts on little ones. :-) I think it's sad that we still have this strange "samson-like" affection for long hair on women as if it's a mark of femininity. <br><br>Anyhow, kudos for documenting these encounters. Very interesting. :-)blivnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8086222144066438296.post-47967901830868493122011-07-14T16:13:29.000-04:002011-07-14T16:13:29.000-04:00Hi there Bliv! Yes, I think I messed up on this o...Hi there Bliv! Yes, I think I messed up on this one. While I calmed myself, I did respond out of emotion a bit. Thank you so much for talking about your experience with your brother's best friend. Yes, it is good that that they responded with laughter. Question for you, is there ever a time when laughter is NOT an appropriate response? When might other responses (what could they be) be more appropriate? I think I get fatigued when I think that I should laugh in situations where I feel like people should really REALLY know better (especially in work settings). In fact, it seems like the flubs, goofs, insensitive comments are often coming from majority group members rather than the other way around. I guess I just want folks to take sensitivity training so that I don't have to bear the brunt of their curiosity, ignorance, etc. <br><br>But, when dealing with children laughter probably is the best policy. <br><br>You raise a great point about socialized ideals. I do think that my husband and I are raising our daughter to realize that her kinky, coily hair is absolutely gorgeous and brilliant in its ability to be styled in a million ways. However, it's inevitable that she also receive messaging about straight "sleek" hair. also love your thoughts about "Samson-like" affection for long hair on women as a mark of femininity. Such a great point! Please come back and comment often. Love your perspective. Thanks!topienoreply@blogger.com