Beach bonding and interracial friendship Part 2

Photo by Hamed Masoumi / Image found at: http://change-production.s3.amazonaws.com/photos/wordpress_copies/race/2010/08/blackwhitefriends.jpg

This past weekend, my daughter and I had some fabulous bonding time at the beach. Plus, I was happy to see my daughter making a new friend at the beach. As I mentioned in my last blog (http://tropie7189.blogspot.com/2011/07/beach-bonding-and-interracial.html), all was going well until my daughter’s new friend whispered, “Are you black?” We addressed that and I thought the conversation between the two of them would return to sea snails, sand and cartwheels. Not quite.

My daughter recently got beautiful cornrows in her hair and I put them into a little bun in order to protect them at the beach. Like most girls, my daughter loves to play in hair patting her bun, taking the bun down and putting it back up again. My daughter was in the process of taking down her bun at the beach when her new friend, within earshot of my daughter, leaned in and said to me, “Her hair is really, REALLY short”. Oh my goodness. I tried my best not to grit on the little girl (sorry, that is IN there and I had to work to suppress it) and said, “Actually, her hair is quite long and very, very curly.” I hate the fact that I felt compelled to add in the fact that my daughter’s hair is long. Ugh, there I go again falling into the myth that length is a proxy for beauty (http://tropie7189.blogspot.com/2011/06/long-hair-myth-thanks-frenchie.html). But, it’s true. My daughter has a head full of long, thick, kinky hair and I bristled when the little girl referred to it as “really, really short”. Images of pickaninnies and headscarfed mamies floated through my head. Gosh, this stuff is potent.

I think that the two incidents (asking if my daughter was Black and then stating that her hair was really, really short) compounded and made racial identity highly salient to me. However, I might have responded differently if my daughter hadn’t been there. I might have asked questions rather than making comments. However, my own internal issues coupled with my protective Mommy nature kicked in and I felt that I needed to defend my daughter. How would you all have handled this?

Beach bonding and interracial friendship Part 2

Photo by Hamed Masoumi / Image found at: http://change-production.s3.amazonaws.com/photos/wordpress_copies/race/2010/08/blackwhitefriends.jpg

This past weekend, my daughter and I had some fabulous bonding time at the beach. Plus, I was happy to see my daughter making a new friend at the beach. As I mentioned in my last blog (http://tropie7189.blogspot.com/2011/07/beach-bonding-and-interracial.html), all was going well until my daughter’s new friend whispered, “Are you black?” We addressed that and I thought the conversation between the two of them would return to sea snails, sand and cartwheels. Not quite.

My daughter recently got beautiful cornrows in her hair and I put them into a little bun in order to protect them at the beach. Like most girls, my daughter loves to play in hair patting her bun, taking the bun down and putting it back up again. My daughter was in the process of taking down her bun at the beach when her new friend, within earshot of my daughter, leaned in and said to me, “Her hair is really, REALLY short”. Oh my goodness. I tried my best not to grit on the little girl (sorry, that is IN there and I had to work to suppress it) and said, “Actually, her hair is quite long and very, very curly.” I hate the fact that I felt compelled to add in the fact that my daughter’s hair is long. Ugh, there I go again falling into the myth that length is a proxy for beauty (http://tropie7189.blogspot.com/2011/06/long-hair-myth-thanks-frenchie.html). But, it’s true. My daughter has a head full of long, thick, kinky hair and I bristled when the little girl referred to it as “really, really short”. Images of pickaninnies and headscarfed mamies floated through my head. Gosh, this stuff is potent.

I think that the two incidents (asking if my daughter was Black and then stating that her hair was really, really short) compounded and made racial identity highly salient to me. However, I might have responded differently if my daughter hadn’t been there. I might have asked questions rather than making comments. However, my own internal issues coupled with my protective Mommy nature kicked in and I felt that I needed to defend my daughter. How would you all have handled this?

Beach bonding and interracial friendship

Photo by Hamed Masoumi / Image found at: http://change-production.s3.amazonaws.com/photos/wordpress_copies/race/2010/08/blackwhitefriends.jpg

My daughter and I had an AMAZING time at the beach: white sand, clear water, sand dunes. Wow, we had an absolute ball. All was going well. My daughter even met a few friends to play with at the beach. One of them, a little girl (can’t remember her name) was thrilled that my daughter is a cartwheel enthusiast and the two of them somersaulted down the beach. Under my watchful eye, they also cavorted in the water and were having a fabulous time. Until. Until.

The two girls were stomach down lying next to my beach blanket. My ears perked up when I heard the little girl whisper, “Are you black?” My daughter looked at her and said something like, “No, I’m brown. Does that look black to you?” holding up her arm for review. The other little girl looked baffled. Her tone of voice had sounded like she’d come upon some great secret, this brown little girl next to her was an alien! But wait, if she’s not black, is she really an alien? Her face looked dejected.

Some of you may wonder why we train our children to say that they’re brown. Of course, we are also very proud and knowledgeable of our Black heritage, exposing our children to history and current events as much as we can. However, we want our children to know: 1) that race is a social construct and 2) there are BILLIONS of brown people around the world and we are part of that Diaspora. I believe that people’s conception of race start in scenarios just like this one. I was grateful that my daughter understood that her skin does not define who she is. But wait, the day held one more surprise as the little girl turned to my daughter and made one more comment, this time about her hair.

P.S.: Here’s an interesting article I came across on interracial friendships by Nadra Kareem Nittle (8/7/10) on news.change.org: http://news.change.org/stories/what-are-the-barriers-to-interracial-friendships.

Curious to know what you think about our beach experience and the article.

Beach bonding and interracial friendship

Photo by Hamed Masoumi / Image found at: http://change-production.s3.amazonaws.com/photos/wordpress_copies/race/2010/08/blackwhitefriends.jpg

My daughter and I had an AMAZING time at the beach: white sand, clear water, sand dunes. Wow, we had an absolute ball. All was going well. My daughter even met a few friends to play with at the beach. One of them, a little girl (can’t remember her name) was thrilled that my daughter is a cartwheel enthusiast and the two of them somersaulted down the beach. Under my watchful eye, they also cavorted in the water and were having a fabulous time. Until. Until.

The two girls were stomach down lying next to my beach blanket. My ears perked up when I heard the little girl whisper, “Are you black?” My daughter looked at her and said something like, “No, I’m brown. Does that look black to you?” holding up her arm for review. The other little girl looked baffled. Her tone of voice had sounded like she’d come upon some great secret, this brown little girl next to her was an alien! But wait, if she’s not black, is she really an alien? Her face looked dejected.

Some of you may wonder why we train our children to say that they’re brown. Of course, we are also very proud and knowledgeable of our Black heritage, exposing our children to history and current events as much as we can. However, we want our children to know: 1) that race is a social construct and 2) there are BILLIONS of brown people around the world and we are part of that Diaspora. I believe that people’s conception of race start in scenarios just like this one. I was grateful that my daughter understood that her skin does not define who she is. But wait, the day held one more surprise as the little girl turned to my daughter and made one more comment, this time about her hair.

P.S.: Here’s an interesting article I came across on interracial friendships by Nadra Kareem Nittle (8/7/10) on news.change.org: http://news.change.org/stories/what-are-the-barriers-to-interracial-friendships.

Curious to know what you think about our beach experience and the article.

Summer Hair Care Tips

Image found at: http://madamenoire.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/Woman-At-Beach.jpg

Well, I’m taking the plunge today, literally and figuratively. My daughter and I are having some bonding time so I plan to take her to a local beach. This should be fun (though I wish crazy hair thoughts weren’t whirling about in my head). Here are a few tips to keep your tresses happy when at the beach:

· Wear a swim cap if possible.

· Hair can get sunburned. If in the sun for an extended time, cover your hair to protect it from the sun (use a hat or scarf). This is particularly true post-swim/ pre-rinse as you don’t want salt or chlorine to bake into your hair.

· Apply a small amount of conditioner to your hair before getting into the water.

· Rinse out the chlorine or salt water as soon as you can and style it in a way to facilitate your regular hair care regimen (e.g., plait or braid it for easy shampoo, conditioner, comb through later).

Here are a few sources:

· http://www.naturallycurly.com/curlreading/curly-hair-care-methods/conditioning-curly-hair-care-methods/summer-curly-hair-care-tips?utm_source=nc_newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=20110705

· http://adoption.about.com/od/parenting/a/summerhair.htm

· http://www.bvhairtalk.com/2008/07/04/healthy-hair-at-the-beach/

· http://blackhair.about.com/od/basiccare/a/summerhaircare.htm

· http://www.blackhaircareinfo.com/summer-hair-care.html

· http://www.urbansalonnetwork.com/lets-talk-about-hair-61/95-black-hair-care-tips-for-the-summer.html

Summer Hair Care Tips

Image found at: http://madamenoire.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/Woman-At-Beach.jpg

Well, I’m taking the plunge today, literally and figuratively. My daughter and I are having some bonding time so I plan to take her to a local beach. This should be fun (though I wish crazy hair thoughts weren’t whirling about in my head). Here are a few tips to keep your tresses happy when at the beach:

· Wear a swim cap if possible.

· Hair can get sunburned. If in the sun for an extended time, cover your hair to protect it from the sun (use a hat or scarf). This is particularly true post-swim/ pre-rinse as you don’t want salt or chlorine to bake into your hair.

· Apply a small amount of conditioner to your hair before getting into the water.

· Rinse out the chlorine or salt water as soon as you can and style it in a way to facilitate your regular hair care regimen (e.g., plait or braid it for easy shampoo, conditioner, comb through later).

Here are a few sources:

· http://www.naturallycurly.com/curlreading/curly-hair-care-methods/conditioning-curly-hair-care-methods/summer-curly-hair-care-tips?utm_source=nc_newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=20110705

· http://adoption.about.com/od/parenting/a/summerhair.htm

· http://www.bvhairtalk.com/2008/07/04/healthy-hair-at-the-beach/

· http://blackhair.about.com/od/basiccare/a/summerhaircare.htm

· http://www.blackhaircareinfo.com/summer-hair-care.html

· http://www.urbansalonnetwork.com/lets-talk-about-hair-61/95-black-hair-care-tips-for-the-summer.html