Puff Balls

Puff Balls

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Insecure, Teenaged 40 year old?

My heart is racing, I have a bit of agita and I'm getting a nervous headache. About to make an important presentation? Being chased by an assailant? No, nothing like that. I'm about to see my Southern family for the first time in a few months. I don't know what it is, but seeing my family makes me revert to my insecure teenage self when I was just as likely to think that I was going to be the next President of the United States as I was to feel like a nerdy, unattractive social outcast. What is this all about? Why do these feelings emerge? I guess it's natural...I, like most us want to please my parents. But, they haven't seen me for awhile and my waist is three inches bigger than what they're used to. Plus, I am four+ months after the Big Chop and while I LOVE my twist-out, this style is definitely an acquired taste. I'm wondering if its positive reception is affected by the fact that we live in the North. As I've blogged before, I've heard that the South may not be as hospitable to natural hair (http://tropie7189.blogspot.com/2011/11/north-more-hospitable-to-natural-hair.html).

Despite this angst, I'm going to rock my same self and see what happens. I'll be sure to share the details. :)


  1. Hope you don't mind. I found your blog looking for pictures of Peggy Dillard. I think your hair looks beautiful! I've had no hair, long hair, don't care! When I locked my hair, I remember an African-american colleague saying to me, OMG! What did you do to your hair! Perplexed, I said, but this is the hair God gave me! She didn't get it. Naturally, my mother hated it so to spite her I also locked my daughters hair - lol! A bout with a bad perm as a teen made all of my hair fall out, so I learned the hard way that hair is just, well hair! I survived by wearing wraps and learned to love the thickness and healthy hair that I don't have when it is permed or straightened. Last year I cut it all off and I'm letting it grow out again but I will never perm again. When I had locks, I loved the freedom, it grew like crazy and I didn't have to mess with it but most especially, I could wrap it up! Hope you enjoy your new do. Ethnic hair is truly versatile and a pleasure to style.

  2. Hi Sabine! Of course I don't mind. It's great to hear from you. Thanks for your compliment. I'm adjusting to my hair. Isn't it interesting how hair influences our self-perception. It sounds like you've had quite an experience and I'm grateful to hear that you are better because of it! Yes, I'm truly enjoying my hair (if I'm honest, some days more than others). But, the high points FAR outweigh the low points. :)

    By the way, are you working on a project about Peggy Dillard? I think she is fabulous!


  3. Hi, again -- oh, no I'm not working on a project, I was actually just looking for pictures of women with ethnic hair. So sad that I have to LOOK for them, if you know what I mean.

    I actually wrote about hair and the article was received with -- well, I'll let you see for yourself. It is here: